4 Different Parenting Styles: Which One Is Yours?
As a parent, your number one priority is to keep your child safe and supported so that they can thrive and grow into the amazing adult they’re destined to be. How you respond to this responsibility as a parent varies from person to person, which means there are many different parenting styles out there. Additionally, all parents have different values and beliefs regarding how best to raise a child. The parenting style you adopt may stem from the way you were raised, or it could be the result of your own personal experiences. Whatever the reason behind it is, understanding these parenting styles will help you adopt strategies that work for you as an individual and make your role as a parent easier in general. Here’s more about them:
The Authoritarian Parenting Style
An authoritarian parenting style employs a very strict and controlling approach to parenting. This approach can have its roots in a very strong belief that parents know what is best for their children, and therefore have the right to enforce their will. This style of parenting can be overbearing and controlling, especially where emotions are concerned. It may be that the parent wants to shield their child from the world and the challenges it presents, and so restrict their independence and impose strict rules and regulations. If a child challenges their parent’s decisions, they may be met with aggression or even physical punishment, creating an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship.
The Authoritative Parenting Style
This is one of the most effective and beneficial styles of parenting, yet also one of the least understood. While it has many similarities with the authoritarian parenting style, there are also some key differences. An authoritative parent sets boundaries for their child and expects them to abide by them. However, they are also open to negotiation when it comes to their child’s wishes and desires. They welcome and encourage open and honest communication between parent and child, and seek to strike the perfect balance between autonomy and support. An authoritative parent is consistent and reliable in their approach, and is warm and nurturing as well as authoritative. They expect their child to meet certain standards, but they also have high expectations of themselves. They are self-disciplined, and therefore instil this trait in their child.
The Permissive Parenting Style
Permissive parenting is a loose and relaxed style of parenting. Parents who adopt this approach are typically very nurturing and warm, but they are also very accepting of their child’s wishes and desires. They place no expectations on their child, and therefore there is no pressure or stress for them to succeed. Permissive parents often have a very low stress tolerance, which means they are either relaxed or irritable depending on the situation. They usually have a very low threshold for dealing with conflict, and are likely to avoid confrontation at all costs. Permissive parents are often guilty of being too indulgent and overindulging their child, meaning they are not instilling any discipline or self-control. Because they are so accepting of their child, they also struggle to set and enforce boundaries. This can cause problems later on in life, as their child struggles to deal with the real world and the restrictions it presents.
The Uninvolved or Indifferent Parenting Style
An uninvolved or indifferent parent is one who generally lacks interest or engagement in all aspects of childrearing. There is often a feeling of detachment from their child, and they are often very unresponsive to their needs. They may feel that their child is not their responsibility, and that they are better off being raised by someone else. Alternatively, it may be that they feel incapable of taking on such a challenging task. An uninvolved parent may struggle to find the energy required to engage with their child, or they may simply not be interested in doing so. They may also have a lack of knowledge or skill in this area, or they may have experienced trauma that makes them fearful of becoming too involved with their child.
The Democratic Parenting Style
A democratic parenting style is one in which both parent and child are partners in decision-making. This may be due to a desire to be fair and balanced, or it could be that one or both parties lack the confidence to make decisions on their own. A democratic parenting style can be very effective, provided both parties are capable of being mature and objective. Problems arise when one or both parties lack the required level of maturity or self-control to make this kind of approach work. A democratic parenting style is great for issues that require consensus, such as setting boundaries, but not so great for issues that require a firm authority figure. It can also be difficult for a child to develop their own identity when their parent is constantly involving them in their decision-making process.
Summary
There are many different parenting styles, but all can be broken down into two categories: Authoritative and authoritarian parenting. The former is likely to result in effective, responsible, happy children. The latter is likely to result in dependent, unhappy children. Every child is different and every family is different, so there is no one way of raising a child that is right for everyone. By understanding these different parenting styles, you can better understand your own parenting style and find a parenting style that works best for you.